The following are all replies that British women have
put on Child Support Agency forms in the section for listing
father's details:
These are genuine excerpts from the forms.
1. Regarding the identity of the father of my twins,
child A was fathered by Tyrone Munson. I am unsure as to the
identity of the father of child B, but I believe that he was
conceived on the same night.
2. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my
child as I was being sick out of a window when taken unexpectedly
from behind. I can provide you with a list of names of men that I
think were at the party if this helps.
3. I do not know the name of the father of my little
girl. She was conceived at a party at 36 Nottingham Avenue where I
had unprotected sex with a man I met that night. I do remember that
the sex was so good that I fainted. If you do manage to track down
the father, can you send me his phone number? Thanks.
4. I don't know the identity of the father of my
daughter. He drives a BMW that now has a hole made by my stiletto in
one of the door panels. Perhaps you can contact BMW service stations
in this area, and see if he's had it replaced.
5. I have never had sex with a man. I am awaiting a
letter from the Pope confirming that my son's conception was
immaculate and that he is Christ risen again.
6. I cannot tell you the name of child A's dad as he
informs me that to do so would blow his cover and that would have
cataclysmic implications for the British economy. I am torn between
doing right by you and right by the country. Please advise.
7. I do not know who the father of my child was as
all squaddies look the same to me. I can confirm that he was a Royal
Green Jacket.
8. Leroy Smith is the father of child A. If you do
catch up with him, can you ask him what he did with my AC/DC CDs?
9. From the dates it seems that my daughter was
conceived at Euro Disney; maybe it really is the Magic Kingdom .
10. So much about that night is a blur. The only
thing that I remember for sure is Delia Smith did a program about
eggs earlier in the evening. If I'd have stayed in and watched more
TV rather than going to the party at 146 Miller Drive, mine might
have remained unfertilised.
11. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of
my baby; after all, when you eat a can of beans you can't be sure
which one made you fart.
