The Jacana Curmudgeon

 

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Quotations U

 

 

UFOs

 

Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?

 

I saw Elvis. He sat between me and Bigfoot on the UFO.

 

UMEMPLOYMENT

 

It's a recession when your neighbour loses his job; it's a depression when you lose your own.

- Harry S. Truman.

 

A man willing to work, and unable to find work, is perhaps the saddest sight that fortune's inequality exhibits under this sun.

- Thomas Carlyle.

 

Unemployment diminishes people. Leisure enlarges them.

- Mason Cooley.

 

UNITED NATIONS & NATO

 

Does the UN need an overhaul? Somebody has a sense of humour. It needs scrapping. It serves no useful purpose and has failed at nearly every opportunity when it could have done something. As it stands it is a very expensive ‘talking shop’ and a stage for tin-pot dictators and genocidal regimes to ‘strut their stuff’.

- John Penling.

 

It's like carrying frogs in a wheelbarrow.

- General Secretary of NATO, Lord Robertson, on the difficulties of getting consensus among all the member states.

 

As we watch the sun go down, evening after evening, through the smog across the poisoned waters of our native earth, we must ask ourselves seriously whether we really wish some future universal historian on another planet to say about us: "With all their genius and with all their skill, they ran out of foresight and air and food and water and ideas," or, "They went on playing politics until their world collapsed around them."

- U Thant, Secretary General of the United Nations, speech, 1970

 

Humour has a way of bringing people together. It unites people. In fact, I'm rather serious when I suggest that someone should plant a few whoopee cushions in the United Nations.

- Ron Dentinger.

 

UNIVERSE

 

In the beginning, the Universe was created.

This has made a lot of people very angry, and has been widely regarded as a bad move.

- Douglas Adams, The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy.

 

My own suspicion is that the universe is not only queerer than we suppose, but queerer than we can suppose.

- J.B.S. Haldane, Possible Worlds and Other Papers.

 

The universe is full of magical things patiently waiting for our wits to grow sharper.

- Eden Phillpotts, A Shadow Passes.

 

I'm worried that the universe will soon need replacing. It's not holding a charge.

- Edward Chilton.

 

I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.

 

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This web page was last updated on: 24 March, 2011