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OBSTINACY
I
am firm; you are obstinate; he is a pig-headed
fool.
-
Bertrand Russell.
He has
one of those terribly weak natures that are not susceptible to
influence.
-
Oscar Wilde.
OLD…...
OLD
ACADEMICS never die, they just lose their faculties.
OLD ACCOUNTANTS never die, they just lose their balance.
OLD ANTHROPOLOGISTS never die, they just become history.
OLD ARCHERS never die, they just bow and quiver.
OLD ASTRONAUTS never die, they just go to another world.
OLD ATOMS never die, they just decay.
OLD BANKERS never die, they just lose interest.
OLD BEEKEEPERS never die, they just buzz off.
OLD BOOKKEEPERS never die, they just lose their figures.
OLD BRIDGE PLAYERS never die, they just sit around on their fat
aces.
OLD BURGLARS never die, they just steal away.
OLD
CARD PLAYERS never die; they just shuffle off.
OLD CASHIERS never die, they just check out.
OLD
CHEMISTS never die, they just fail to react.
OLD CHEMISTS never die, they just smell that way.
OLD COMPUTER PROGRAMMERS never die, they just byte the dust.
OLD DEANS never die, they just lose their faculties.
OLD
DOCTORS never die, they just lose their patience.
OLD ELECTRICIANS never die, they just do it until it Hz.
OLD ELECTRICIANS never die, they just lose contact.
OLD EXORCISTS never die, they just give up the ghost.
OLD
FASHION DESIGNERS never die; they just fad away.
OLD FISHERMEN never die, they just smell that way.
OLD
FLORISTS never die; they make other arrangements.
OLD FROGS never die, they just croak.
OLD GOLFERS never die, they just lose their balls.
OLD
GOLFERS never die; they just keep puttering on.
OLD HARDWARE ENGINEERS never die, they just cache in their
chips.
OLD HELSINKI TOURISTS never die, they just vanish into Finn Air.
OLD HIPPIES never die, they just smell that way.
OLD
HORTICULTURALISTS never die, they just go to pot.
OLD
JOURNALISTS never die, they just get de-pressed.
OLD
LAWYERS never die, they just lose their appeal.
OLD
LIMBO DANCERS never die, they just go under.
OLD MAGICIANS never die, they just disappear.
OLD MATHEMATICIANS never die, they just disintegrate.
OLD MATHEMATICIANS never die, they just go off on a tangent.
OLD MATHEMATICIANS never die, they just lose some functions.
OLD
MINISTERS never die, they just get put out to pastor.
OLD
MUSICIANS never die, they just decompose.
OLD NUMBER THEORISTS never die, they just get past their prime.
OLD
OWLS never die, they just don’t give a hoot.
OLD
PHOTOGRAPHERS never die, they just stop developing.
OLD PILOTS never die, they just buzz off.
OLD PLUMBERS never die, they just go down the drain.
OLD PRINTERS never die, they're just not the type.
OLD
PROFESSORS never die; they simply lose their faculties.
OLD PROGRAMMERS never die, they just GOSUB without RETURN.
OLD
PSYCHOLOGISTS never die; they're forever Jung.
OLD
SAILORS never die, they just get a little dingy.
OLD
SCOTS never die, but they can be kilt.
OLD SCULPTORS never die, they just lose their marbles.
OLD
SEWAGE WORKERS never die, they just waste away.
OLD
SKIERS never die, but they go downhill fast.
OLD STEELMAKERS never die, they just lose their temper.
OLD
YACHTSMEN never die, they just keel over.
WALT
DISNEY didn’t die. He’s in suspended animation.
OLD AGE
Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been.
- Mark
Twain.
The
old believe everything: the middle-aged suspect everything: the
young know everything.
-
Oscar Wilde.
How
confusing the beams from memory's lamp are; One day a bachelor,
the next a grampa.
What
is the secret of the trick? How did I get so old so quick?
-
Ogden Nash.
When I
was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.
-
George Burns.
Old
age is a lot of crossed-off names in your address book.
-
Ronald Blythe.
Old
age ain't no place for sissies.
-
Bette Davis.
You
know you’re getting old when the candles cost more than the
cake.
- Bob
Hope.
I
don't feel old. I don't feel anything until noon. Then it's time
for my nap.
- Bob
Hope.
At my
age I do what Mark Twain did. I get my daily paper, look at the
obituaries page and if I'm not there I carry on as usual.
-
Patrick Moore.
Maybe
it's true that life begins at fifty….but everything else starts
to wear out, fall out, or spread out.
-
Phyllis Diller.
King
David and King Solomon
Led
merry, merry lives,
With
many, many concubines
And
many, many wives;
But
when old age crept over them -
With
many, many qualms,
King
Solomon wrote the Proverbs
And
King David wrote the Psalms.
-
James Ball Naylor.
My
grandmother has a bumper sticker on her car that says, 'Sexy
Senior Citizen.' You don't want to think of your grandmother
that way, do you? Out entering wet shawl contests. Makes you
wonder where she got that dollar she gave you for your birthday.
- Andy
Rooney.
Do you
realize that in about 40 years, we'll have thousands of old
ladies running around with tattoos? And Rap music will be the
Golden Oldies!
I’m
starting to realise that ageing isn’t for wimps.
Two
things that let you know when you're getting too old: First, you
start to lose your memory; Second, ... I forgot what the second
one is.
We do
not stop playing because we are old; we grow old because we stop
playing.
I
thought about making a fitness movie, for folks my age, and call
it "Pumping Rust."
Age is
a very high price to pay for maturity.
You
know you are getting old when everything either dries up or
leaks.
One
must wait until evening to see how splendid the day has been.
One
good thing about Alzheimers…you get to meet new people every
day.
The
older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.
Being
young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.
Growing old is mandatory... growing up is optional.
I used
to be a wind-breaker. Now I’m just an old fart.
I'm
not getting older....I'm getting meaner.
I'm
not 50 - I'm 18 with 32 years experience.
My
wild oats have turned to shredded wheat.
Over
the hill? What hill? I didn't see any hill!
Keep
grandma off the streets. Legalize bingo.
Middle
age is when the broadness of the mind and narrowness of the
waist changes places.
Age is
only important if you're a cheese.
I'm
not 50. I'm $49.95 plus shipping & handling.
OPINION, RIGHT &
WRONG
When I
want your opinion I’ll give it to you.
-
Lawrence Peter.
When
people agree with me I always feel I must be wrong.
-
Oscar Wilde.
….an unbiased opinion is
always absolutely valueless.
- Oscar Wilde.
I
don't always know what I'm talking about but I know I'm right.
-
Muhammad Ali.
Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone
wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more
than one night.'
-
Charles Schultz.
Two
wrongs do not make a right, but three lefts do.
Everyone is entitled to my opinion.
I will
defend to your death my right to my opinion.
You’re
entitled to your own wrong opinion.
OPPORTUNITY &
OPPORTUNISM
I
would rather be an opportunist and float than go to the bottom
with my principles round my neck.
-
Stanley Baldwin.
One of
the secrets of life is to make stepping stones out of stumbling
blocks.
- Jack
Penn.
Arriving at one goal is the starting point to another.
- John
Dewey.
Opportunity is often difficult to recognize; we usually expect
it to beckon us with beepers and billboards.
-
William Arthur Ward.
Opportunity is a bird that never perches.
-
Claude McDonald.
Opportunities multiply as they are seized.
- Sun Tzu.
I was
seldom able to see an opportunity until it had ceased to be one.
- Mark
Twain.
If
opportunity doesn't knock, build a door.
-
Milton Berle.
A wise
man will make more opportunities than he finds.
-
Francis Bacon, Essays, 1625.
A
pessimist is one who makes difficulties of his opportunities and
an optimist is one who makes opportunities of his difficulties.
-
Harry Truman.
Summing up, it is clear the future holds great opportunities. It
also holds pitfalls. The trick will be to avoid the pitfalls,
seize the opportunities, and get back home by six o'clock.
-
Woody Allen, My Speech to the Graduates, Side Effects.
All
great work is preparing yourself for the accident to happen.
-
Sidney Lumet.
Problems are only opportunities with thorns on them.
- Hugh
Miller, Snow on the Wind.
Dear
Prime Minister,
Thank
you for your letter. I am delighted to have the opportunism to
serve in your Cabinet.
Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.
OPTIMISM &
PESSIMISM
An
optimist believes we live in the best of all possible worlds. A
pessimist fears this is true.
-
James Branch Campbell.
A
pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist
sees the opportunity in every difficulty.
-
Winston Churchill.
‘Twixt
the optimist and the pessimist
The
difference is droll:
The
optimist sees the doughnut
But
the pessimist sees the hole.
-
McLandburgh Wilson.
A pessimist is a man who
thinks all women are bad. An optimist is one who hopes they are.
- Chauncey Depew.
A
pessimist is a man who has been compelled to live with an
optimist.
-
Elbert Hubbard.
The
average pencil is seven inches long, with just a half-inch
eraser - in case you thought optimism was dead.
-
Robert Brault.
Both optimists and
pessimists contribute to our society. The optimist invents the
airplane and the pessimist the parachute.
- Gil Stern.
A
pessimist sees only the dark side of the clouds, and mopes; a
philosopher sees both sides, and shrugs; an optimist doesn't see
the clouds at all - he's walking on them.
-
Leonard Louis Levinson.
Optimists are nostalgic about the future.
-
Chicago Tribune.
In the
long run the pessimist may be proved right, but the optimist has
a better time on the trip.
-
Daniel L. Reardon.
An
optimist is merely an ex-pessimist with his pockets full of
money, his digestion in good condition, and his wife in the
country.
-
Helen Rowland.
A
pessimist is a man who thinks all women are bad. An optimist is
a man who hopes they are.
-
Chauncey Mitchell Depew.
There
is no sadder sight than a young pessimist.
- Mark
Twain.
The
basis of optimism is sheer terror.
-
Oscar Wilde.
The
place where optimism most flourishes is the lunatic asylum.
-
Havelock Ellis, The Dance of Life.
No
sense being pessimistic, it probably wouldn't work anyway
An
optimist can always see the bright side of someone else's
misfortune.
I may
have my faults, but being wrong isn’t one of them.
OUTDOORS
….to
me the outdoors is what you must pass through in order to get
from your apartment into a taxicab.
- Fran
Lebowitz.
It is
pure unadulterated country life. They get you up early because
they have so much to do and go to bed early because they have so
little to think about.
-
Oscar Wilde.
Camping is nature's way of promoting the motel business.
- Dave
Barry.
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