|
KAUFMAN, GEORGE
(Anecdotes)
Kaufman was a bridge fanatic who did not suffer incompetent
players gladly. When one particularly inept partner asked to be
excused to go to the men’s room, Kaufman replied, “Gladly – for
the first time today I’ll know what you have in your hand.”
Another bridge partner, sensing Kaufman was not pleased with his
conduct of the previous hand, asked defensively, “Well, George,
how would you have played the hand?”
“Under
an assumed name,” Kaufman shot back.
When
Kaufman was drama editor at The New York Times, a pres agent
asked, “How do I get our leading lady’s name in your newspaper?”
“Shoot
her,” Kaufman replied.
After
his great success playing Abraham Lincoln on Broadway, Raymond
Massey began to assume the character off the stage, affecting
Lincolnesque attire, manner, and speech and prompting Kaufman to
observe, “Massey won’t be satisfied until someone assassinates
him.”
KINDNESS
One
can always be kind to people about whom one cares nothing.
-
Oscar Wilde.
You
can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind
word alone.
- Al
Capone.
Those who bring sunshine
to the lives of others cannot keep it from themselves.
- Sir
James Barrie.
The best place to find a
helping hand is at the end of your arm.
-
Swedish proverb.
As the
bus slowed down at the crowded bus stop, the Pakistani bus
conductor leaned from the platform and called out, "Six only!"
The bus stopped. He counted on six passengers, rang the bell,
and then, as the bus moved off, called to those left behind: "So
sorry, plenty of room in my heart - but the bus is full." He
left behind a row of smiling faces. It's not what you do, it's
the way that you do it.
- The
Friendship Book of Francis Gay, 1977.
Blessed are those who can give without remembering and take
without forgetting.
Kindness is the greatest wisdom.
If you
can’t be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
KISSES
I
married the first man I ever kissed. When I tell this to my
children they just about throw up.
-
Barbara Bush.
Her
kisses left something to be desired... the rest of her.
I ran
up the door, opened the stairs, said my pyjamas and put on my
prayers - turned off my bed, tumbled into my light, and all
because he kissed me good-night!
A kiss
is the upper persuasion for a lower invasion.
KNOWLEDGE & WISDOM
Knowledge without sense is twofold folly.
-
Spanish proverb.
The
world owes you nothing. It was here first.
- Mark
Twain.
The
road of excess leads to the palace of wisdom.
-
William Blake.
To be
absolutely certain about something, one must know everything or
nothing about it.
- Olin
Miller.
Every
man is a damn fool for at least five minutes every day; wisdom
consists in not exceeding the limit.
-
Elbert Hubbard.
Patience is the companion of wisdom.
- St.
Augustine.
The
saddest aspect of life right now is that science gathers
knowledge faster than society gathers wisdom.
-
Isaac Asimov, Isaac Asimov's Book of Science and Nature
Quotations.
It's
so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and
then don't say it.
- Sam
Levenson.
Of the demonstrably wise
there are but two: those who commit suicide, and those who keep
their reasoning faculties atrophied by drink.
- Mark Twain,
Note-Book, 1935.
By
three methods we may learn wisdom. First, by reflection, which
is noblest; second, by imitation, which is easiest; and third,
by experience, which is the bitterest.
-
Confucius.
I
believe that all wisdom consists in caring immensely for a few
right things, and not caring a straw about the rest.
- John
Buchan.
The
young man knows the rules, but the old man knows the exceptions.
-
Oliver Wendell Holmes Sr.
That
the best classroom in the world is at the feet of an elderly
person.
- Andy
Rooney.
The
art of being wise is the art of knowing what to overlook.
-
William James.
The
believer is happy; the doubter is wise.
-
Hungarian proverb.
The
larger the island of knowledge, the longer the shoreline of
wonder.
-
Ralph W. Sockman.
Life's
tragedy is that we get old too soon and wise too late.
-
Benjamin Franklin.
History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely once they
have exhausted all other alternatives.
- Abba
Eban.
More
than any time in history, mankind now faces a crossroads. One
path leads to despair and utter hopelessness, the other to total
extinction. Let us pray that we have the wisdom to choose
correctly.
-
Woody Allen.
One
evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that
goes on inside people.
He
said, "My son, the battle is between two "wolves" inside us
all. One is Evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret,
greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority,
lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.
The
other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility,
kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion
and faith."
The
grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his
grandfather: "Which wolf wins?"
The
old Cherokee simply replied, "The one you feed."
Never
under-estimate your ability to over-estimate your ability.
You
who think you know it all are damn annoying to those of us who
do.
|
