The Jacana Curmudgeon

 

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Quotations J

 

 

JEALOUSY

 

Jealousy and love are sisters.

- Russian Proverb.

 

My wife's jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was.

- Rodney Dangerfield.

 

JOURNALISM

 

I do not mean to be the slightest bit critical of TV newspeople, who do a superb job, considering that they operate under severe time constraints and have the intellectual depth of hamsters. But TV news can only present the "bare bones" of a story; it takes a newspaper, with its capability to present vast amounts of information, to render the story truly boring.

- Dave Barry.

 

I always turn to the sports section first. The sports section records people's accomplishments; the front page nothing but man's failures.

- Earl Warren, quoted in Sports Illustrated.

 

We journalists make it a point to know very little about an extremely wide variety of topics; this is how we stay objective.

- Dave Barry.

 

We journalists... are also extremely impressed with scientists, and we will, frankly, print just about any wacky thing they tell us, especially if it involves outer space.

- Dave Barry.

 

If one morning I walked on top of the water across the Potomac River, the headline that afternoon would read: "President Can't Swim."

- Lyndon B. Johnson.

 

Journalists aren't supposed to praise things. It's a violation of work rules almost as serious as buying drinks with our own money or absolving the CIA of something.

- P.J. O'Rourke.

 

No news is good news. No journalists is even better.

- Nicolas Bentley.

 

Newspapermen learn to call a murderer 'an alleged murderer' and the King of England 'the alleged King of England' to avoid libel suits.

- Stephen Leacock.

 

Newspapers are unable, seemingly, to discriminate between a bicycle accident and the collapse of civilisation.

- George Bernard Shaw, 1931.

 

I've always said there's a place for the press but they haven't dug it yet.

- Tommy Docherty.

 

When a dog bites a man that is not news, but when a man bites a dog that is news.

- Charles Anderson Dana.

 

Only presidents, editors, and people with tapeworms have the right to use the editorial "we".

- Mark Twain.

 

Small earthquake in Chile. Not many dead.

- Claude Cockburn - put forward as an example of a dull newspaper headline.

 

The secret of successful journalism is to make your readers so angry they will write half your paper for you.

- C.E.M. Joad.

 

Being a reporter is as much a diagnosis as a job description.

- Anna Quindlen.

 

I believe in equality for everyone, except reporters and photographers.

- Gandhi.

 

Journalism justifies its own existence by the great Darwinian principle of the survival of the vulgarist.

- Oscar Wilde.

 

Journalism consists largely in saying "Lord Jones died" to people who never knew Lord Jones was alive.

- G.K.Chesterton.

 

Journalism is the ability to meet the challenge of filling space.

- Rebecca West.

 

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This web page was last updated on: 24 March, 2011