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Subject: Definitions for Our Times
Date: Thu, 19 Jul 2007 18:08:40 +0200
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Definitions for Our Times

A AND B THE C OF D: Means Above and Beyond the Call of Duty. Means very =
good.

ACID: Better living through chemistry.

ADORKABLE: Both dorky and adorable. A higher state of being all dorks =
strive towards.

ALPHABET BOYS: A slang term for federal government law enforcement =
agencies such as the FBI, CIA, ATF, NSC and IRS.

AQUADEXTROUS: Possessing the ability to turn the bathtub faucet on and =
off with your toes.

ASKHOLE: Someone who asks many stupid, pointless, obnoxious questions.

AWESININE: Stupidly brilliant, or brilliantly stupid. Describes an idea =
or work whose chief virtue is its overwhelming, unadulterated dumbness.

BABY: 1/ Term of endearment, usually used by people having sexual =
intercourse with one another. 2/ Exclamation, usually during sexual =
intercourse. 3/ The direct consequence of sexual intercourse.

BACKWARD CONDITIONING: Putting saliva in a dog's mouth in an attempt to =
make a bell ring.

BCG: Birth Control Glasses. Generally a military term which refers to =
the large, blocky glasses issued to military personnel who require the =
use of corrective lenses.

BEFUCKLED: Commonly used in military HQ's, characterized by extreme =
confusion, and genuine, profound disorientation. Often the result of =
being given different and usually conflicting orders.

BiPODDING: Sharing a single set of headphones attached to one iPod.

BLOG: Short for weblog. A meandering, blatantly uninteresting online =
diary that gives the author the illusion that people are actually =
interested in their stupid, pathetic life. Consists of such riveting =
entries as "homework sucks" and "I slept until noon today."

BOBFOC: Body Off Baywatch, Face Off Crimewatch. A chick who possesses a =
killer body but has a face that only a mother could love.

BOND YEAR: Any year that ends in 007, such as 1007 or 2007.

BOZONE: The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas =
from penetrating. The bozone-layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of =
breaking down in the near future.

BRAIN GLUE: When it feels as though bits of your brain have been =
disconnected, (ie when your feeling stupid), this substance helps to =
stick them back together again. Sadly, has not yet been invented. "I =
went out partying all night, and was in serious need of some brain glue =
the next morning!"

BUG: 1. Small living things that small living boys throw on small living =
girls. 2. An aspect of a computer program which exists because the =
programmer was thinking about Jumbo Jacks or stock options when s/he =
wrote the program.

CARSOPHAGUS: A pothole in the road that is so enormous that it tends to =
"bury a car."

CARSPECTIVE: The valuable insight that comes during the long drive home.

CELL PHONE: A device for communicating with others needlessly. Day in. =
Day out. Whenever. Wherever. Good for holding up lines in stores, =
traffic, etc. Also the latest technology found in ghettos - overtaking =
the more common "boom box".

CHEW TOY: The person you have or will have carnal relations with, but =
never a serious relationship.

CHOOSY BLONDE: One for whom a Tom or a Harry won't do.

CHRISTMESS: The aftermath of the Christmas celebrations.

COURAGE.com: When someone tries to be badass over the internet, like on =
a forum, or blog because they aren't actually face to face with anyone.

DICK FLIK: The testosterone-driven opposite of a "chick flick". =
Generally contains lots of car chases, explosions, and boobs.

DRAMARAMA: A situation where one or more individuals choose to take a =
relatively benign event and turn it into a huge drama. This often =
involves a lot of high pitched screams or expressions of outrage, the =
narrowing of eyes, forced tears, threats of various kinds, phone calls, =
email, blogging, etc. It is not uncommon for a dramarama to become known =
to a vast amount of people within a very short time.

DTR: Define The Relationship. When two people discuss their mutual =
understanding of a romantic relationship (casual dating, serious =
boyfriend, etc).

EARGASM: 1/ noun. The sensation one gets while hearing a dramatic climax =
in music. 2/ noun. The climax of musical excitement. 3/ verb. To have an =
eargasm.

EARTH: God's reality TV show.

eLATIONSHIP: This refers to a couple (friends, lovers, whatever) that =
know each other only via online correspondence (e-mail, IM chats, video =
rooms, etc).

E-MAIL: Once an efficient and fast method of communication and message =
transferring, now a way of harassing Internet users with spam, credit =
card/insurance offers, porn links, and "Increase Your Penis Size By 8 =
Inches" advertisements.

EMAUL: To textually assault an individual via e-mail.

ENGINERD: All engineers, especially ones that hang out and look at =
computer dating services all day. A person who uses scientific knowledge =
to solve practical problems.

ENGRISH: Engrish can be simply defined as the humorous English mistakes =
that appear in Japanese advertising and product design. Often, not only =
in Japan, but all around the world.

ENTERDRAINMENT: Any passive form of entertainment that is so incredibly =
mind numbing that it sucks the intelligence from the listener or viewer; =
ultimately over time reducing (or limiting) them to a simplistic =
proto-human mental state, incapable of cognition or rational thought.

ENTREPMANEURE: Someone who makes a living selling bullshit to the =
masses.

ePENIS: A term used to describe the technological prowess of an =
individual, usually in an internet community. Factors that engorge the =
e-penis include bandwidth, computer speed, hard drive size, size of DVD =
etc.  =20

EXTRATERRESTAURANT: An eating place where you feel you've been abducted =
and experimented upon. Also known as an E-T-ry.

FRENEMY: An enemy disguised as a friend.

GOOGLE DRIFT: To drift aimlessly between subjects of interest, by =
finding them accidentally on a web search for something else.

GUITAR FACE: The act of making an unusual face while playing the guitar. =
The look typically resembles a look of pain, intense ecstasy, or =
sometimes even plain old gas.

HASBIAN: A former lesbian who is now in a heterosexual relationship.

HATRIOTISM: Proving your patriotism by hating the people the government =
tells you to hate.

iPERBOLE: The hype surrounding any product Apple unveils.

JACKSON: Another name for a US Twenty Dollar Bill; US cash denomination =
featuring President Andrew Jackson - equivalent to twenty Franklins or =
four Lincolns. "Hey... stop at that ATM. I need a Jackson or two."

KLEPTOCRACY: A system of government characterized by rampant corruption =
and misallocation of public funds.

KNEWLYWEDS: Second marriage for both.

LOCATIONSHIP: A brief romantic encounter usually occuring while =
traveling or on vacation, occasionally outwardly resembling a =
conventional relationship, but without any underlying comittment. May be =
rekindled at future opportunities.

MAIN: What a man calls a woman that is his No.1 girl, as apposed to the =
other females he may have.

MANTASTIC: Feeling fantastic after the successful completion of a =
particularly macho feat.

MEANDERTHAL: People who wander around aimlessly and always seem to get =
in your way in stores and supermarkets, chatting on their cell phones =
and paying no attention to their surroundings.

MEXICAN STANDOFF: The awkward scenario where one person goes to kiss =
another on the cheek and the recipient moves for the mouth (or vice =
versa). This results in a repeated back and forth movement where both =
parties keep moving to rectify their facial position, creating a kung fu =
movie visual.

MILLENNIUM DOMES: The contents of a Wonderbra, i.e. extremely impressive =
when viewed from the outside, but there's  actually nought in there =
worth seeing.

MINDFUCK: An idea or concept that shakes one's previously held beliefs =
or assumptions about the nature of reality.

MIRTHQUAKE: an episode of laughter that entails shaking or violent =
motion.

MYSTERY TAXI: The taxi that arrives at your place on Saturday morning =
before you wake up, whisks away the stunner you slept with, and leaves a =
10-Pinter in your bed instead.

NFI: No Fucking Idea.

NIPPLEGATE: Refers to the scandal of the 2004 Superbowl half-time show =
where Janet Jackson accidentally exposed her entire right breast.

NO WUKKAS: Abbreviation of "no wuckin' furries" which is a less vulgar =
derivative of "no fuckin' worries". Australian origin, naturally.

NOIDS: Those with extreme paranoia.

PANCAKE: 1/ To end a relationship suddenly. 2/ To break up with an =
individual without prior warning. 3/ To get dumped by someone and remain =
clueless as to the reason.

PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE: The fine art of whacking the crap out of an =
electronic device to get it to work again.

PODESTRIAN: A person who can be spotted with the iconic white standard =
iPod earbuds in their ears.

POPPIN' HUNDIES: Spending big bills, such as hundred dollar bills.

PREGRET: The feeling of regretting something you're about to do anyway.

PULL: Word used to describe the successful act of attracting a person to =
such an extent that you would be able to 'snog' or perhaps even 'bone' =
them if you so desired.

PYTHONATE: That condition which befalls an individual who being engorged =
by the consumption of a large, rich or heavy meal, must recline that the =
meal may digest.

REMF: Rear Echelon Mother Fucker. One who has no frontline or combat =
experience, and therefore makes huge errors at expense of human life.

RETAIL THERAPY: The act of shopping as an outlet for frustration and a =
reliever of stress.

RETROSHOPPING: To compare prices for an item after you've already =
purchased it.

ROACHING: A dog that lays on its back with all four legs in the air - =
like a dead cockroach - is commonly described as "roaching."

SANDBOX: Middle Eastern nation, particularly one with a vast desert such =
as Iraq or Saudi Arabia.

SERAIL CHILLER: A person who always parks off and relaxes. One who =
rarely works or shoulders responsibility and avoids stress and anxiety.

SLAP YOUR PLASTICS: To insert contacts in your eyes.

STRIPSY: The post-drunken, post-tipsy state at which the removal of =
clothing begins.

SURGE PROTECTORS: Those who oppose an increase in troops in Iraq, like =
most Democrats and a few Republicans.

TAG HAG: A person who will only wear clothing that is hideously =
expensive and bears the 'right' tag or label in the belief that she (it =
is mostly she) is a better person for doing so.

TESTICULATE: To move one's hands and arms expressively while talking =
bollox.

TEXT MASSAGE: When one gets a text message when their phone is on =
vibrate. The phone vibrates and creates a massaging feeling in ones =
thigh, creating pleasure to the recipient.

TEXTSPECTATION: The anticipation one feels when waiting for a response =
to a text message.

TEXTUAL INTERCOURSE: The consummation of a relationship via SMS =
messages.

TOOL UP: Grab your pistol; get your gun.

TREEWARE: Documents made of paper, in contrast to electronic documents.

URBAN COUGAR: An older woman, typically early thirties to mid-forties, =
who has abandoned traditional rules of romantic engagement and taken as =
her mission the seduction of as many game young men as she can possibly =
handle.

VEGI-CURIOUS: One who is considering the vegetarian lifestyle, but has =
yet to make a commitment to it.

WAFFLE CRAPPER: A chick so hot that you wouldn't care if she walked up =
and crapped on your waffle. In fact, you'd probably welcome it.

WD55: An acronym for Windows Down 55 miles an hour. A primitive form of =
air condition most helpful to 60's and 70's Volkswagen Bug pilots.

WHAMBULANCE: The imaginary rescue vehicle that will rescue you from =
someone's incessant whining over a trivial matter. Used mockingly, but =
in good humor.

YOURNIVERSE: The entirety of creation that relates to one specific, =
narcissistic individual. Used to indicate that a particular person has =
knowledge only of him or herself - their universe consists only of them.

ZONED OUT: Similar to daydreaming, zoning out usually involves obscure =
subject matter such as how toothpicks are made or what will happen when =
squirrels take over the world. Common among, but not limited to, those =
with attention deficit disorder.




The Jacana Humour List=20
To unsubscribe (or join) contact jacana@botsnet.bw
He who laughs, lasts
;-) :-) :-) :-) :-) Humour =3D Sanity =3D Survival (-: (-: (-: (-: (-;
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<HTML xmlns:o =3D "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office"><HEAD>
<META http-equiv=3DContent-Type content=3D"text/html; =
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<META content=3D"MSHTML 6.00.6000.16481" name=3DGENERATOR>
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<BODY bgColor=3D#ffffff =
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<DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2></FONT></DIV><FONT face=3DArial =
size=3D2></FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>
<P class=3DStyleBefore12ptAfter12pt style=3D"MARGIN: 5pt 0cm"><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-bidi-font-family: Arial"><FONT color=3D#800000=20
size=3D4><STRONG><U>Definitions for Our =
Times</U></STRONG></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=3DStyleBefore12ptAfter12pt style=3D"MARGIN: 5pt 0cm"><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-bidi-font-family: Arial"><FONT size=3D3>A AND B THE C OF D: =
Means Above=20
and Beyond the Call of Duty. Means very =
good.<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=3DStyleBefore12ptAfter12pt style=3D"MARGIN: 5pt 0cm"><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-bidi-font-family: Arial"><FONT size=3D3>ACID: Better living =
through=20
chemistry.<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=3DStyleBefore12ptAfter12pt style=3D"MARGIN: 5pt 0cm"><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-bidi-font-family: Arial"><FONT size=3D3>ADORKABLE: Both =
dorky and=20
adorable. A higher state of being all dorks strive=20
towards.<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=3DStyleBefore12ptAfter12pt style=3D"MARGIN: 5pt 0cm"><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-bidi-font-family: Arial"><FONT size=3D3>ALPHABET BOYS: A =
slang term for=20
federal government law enforcement agencies such as the FBI, CIA, ATF, =
NSC and=20
IRS.<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=3DStyleBefore12ptAfter12pt style=3D"MARGIN: 5pt 0cm"><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-bidi-font-family: Arial"><FONT size=3D3>AQUADEXTROUS: =
Possessing the=20
ability to turn the bathtub faucet on and off with your=20
toes.<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=3DStyleBefore12ptAfter12pt style=3D"MARGIN: 5pt 0cm"><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-bidi-font-family: Arial"><FONT size=3D3>ASKHOLE: Someone =
who asks many=20
stupid, pointless, obnoxious questions.<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=3DStyleBefore12ptAfter12pt style=3D"MARGIN: 5pt 0cm"><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-bidi-font-family: Arial"><FONT size=3D3>AWESININE: Stupidly =
brilliant,=20
or brilliantly stupid. Describes an idea or work whose chief virtue is =
its=20
overwhelming, unadulterated dumbness.<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=3DStyleBefore12ptAfter12pt style=3D"MARGIN: 5pt 0cm"><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-bidi-font-family: Arial"><FONT size=3D3>BABY: 1/ Term of =
endearment,=20
usually used by people having sexual intercourse with one another. 2/=20
Exclamation, usually during sexual intercourse. 3/ The direct =
consequence of=20
sexual intercourse.<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=3DStyleBefore12ptAfter12pt style=3D"MARGIN: 5pt 0cm"><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-bidi-font-family: Arial"><FONT size=3D3>BACKWARD =
CONDITIONING: Putting=20
saliva in a dog's mouth in an attempt to make a bell=20
ring.<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=3DStyleBefore12ptAfter12pt style=3D"MARGIN: 5pt 0cm"><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-bidi-font-family: Arial"><FONT size=3D3>BCG: Birth Control =
Glasses.=20
Generally a military term which refers to the large, blocky glasses =
issued to=20
military personnel who require the use of corrective=20
lenses.<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=3DStyleBefore12ptAfter12pt style=3D"MARGIN: 5pt 0cm"><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-bidi-font-family: Arial"><FONT size=3D3>BEFUCKLED: Commonly =
used in=20
military HQ's, characterized by extreme confusion, and genuine, profound =

disorientation. Often the result of being given different and usually=20
conflicting orders.<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=3DStyleBefore12ptAfter12pt style=3D"MARGIN: 5pt 0cm"><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-bidi-font-family: Arial"><FONT size=3D3>BiPODDING: Sharing =
a single set=20
of headphones attached to one iPod.<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=3DStyleBefore12ptAfter12pt style=3D"MARGIN: 5pt 0cm"><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-bidi-font-family: Arial"><FONT size=3D3>BLOG: Short for =
weblog. A=20
meandering, blatantly uninteresting online diary that gives the author =
the=20
illusion that people are actually interested in their stupid, pathetic =
life.=20
Consists of such riveting entries as "homework sucks" and "I slept until =
noon=20
today."<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=3DStyleBefore12ptAfter12pt style=3D"MARGIN: 5pt 0cm"><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-bidi-font-family: Arial"><FONT size=3D3>BOBFOC: Body Off =
Baywatch, Face=20
Off Crimewatch. A chick who possesses a killer body but has a face that =
only a=20
mother could love.<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=3DStyleBefore12ptAfter12pt style=3D"MARGIN: 5pt 0cm"><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-bidi-font-family: Arial"><FONT size=3D3>BOND YEAR: Any year =
that ends=20
in 007, such as 1007 or 2007.<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=3DStyleBefore12ptAfter12pt style=3D"MARGIN: 5pt 0cm"><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-bidi-font-family: Arial"><FONT size=3D3>BOZONE: The =
substance=20
surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The=20
bozone-layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the =
near=20
future.<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=3DStyleBefore12ptAfter12pt style=3D"MARGIN: 5pt 0cm"><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-bidi-font-family: Arial"><FONT size=3D3>BRAIN GLUE: When it =
feels as=20
though bits of your brain have been disconnected, (ie when your feeling =
stupid),=20
this substance helps to stick them back together again. Sadly, has not =
yet been=20
invented. "I went out partying all night, and was in serious need of =
some brain=20
glue the next morning!"<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=3DStyleBefore12ptAfter12pt style=3D"MARGIN: 5pt 0cm"><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-bidi-font-family: Arial"><FONT size=3D3>BUG: 1. Small =
living things=20
that small living boys throw on small living girls. 2. An aspect of a =
computer=20
program which exists because the programmer was thinking about Jumbo =
Jacks or=20
stock options when s/he wrote the program.<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=3DStyleBefore12ptAfter12pt style=3D"MARGIN: 5pt 0cm"><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-bidi-font-family: Arial"><FONT size=3D3>CARSOPHAGUS: A =
pothole in the=20
road that is so enormous that it tends to "bury a=20
car."<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=3DStyleBefore12ptAfter12pt style=3D"MARGIN: 5pt 0cm"><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-bidi-font-family: Arial"><FONT size=3D3>CARSPECTIVE: The =
valuable=20
insight that comes during the long drive =
home.<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=3DStyleBefore12ptAfter12pt style=3D"MARGIN: 5pt 0cm"><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-bidi-font-family: Arial"><FONT size=3D3>CELL PHONE: A =
device for=20
communicating with others needlessly. Day in. Day out. Whenever. =
Wherever. Good=20
for holding up lines in stores, traffic, etc. Also the latest technology =
found=20
in ghettos - overtaking the more common "boom =
box".<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=3DStyleBefore12ptAfter12pt style=3D"MARGIN: 5pt 0cm"><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-bidi-font-family: Arial"><FONT size=3D3>CHEW TOY: The =
person you have=20
or will have carnal relations with, but never a serious=20
relationship.<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=3DStyleBefore12ptAfter12pt style=3D"MARGIN: 5pt 0cm"><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-bidi-font-family: Arial"><FONT size=3D3>CHOOSY BLONDE: One =
for whom a=20
Tom or a Harry won't do.<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=3DStyleBefore12ptAfter12pt style=3D"MARGIN: 5pt 0cm"><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-bidi-font-family: Arial"><FONT size=3D3>CHRISTMESS: The =
aftermath of=20
the Christmas celebrations.<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=3DStyleBefore12ptAfter12pt style=3D"MARGIN: 5pt 0cm"><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-bidi-font-family: Arial"><FONT size=3D3>COURAGE.com: When =
someone tries=20
to be badass over the internet, like on a forum, or blog because they =
aren't=20
actually face to face with anyone.<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=3DStyleBefore12ptAfter12pt style=3D"MARGIN: 5pt 0cm"><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-bidi-font-family: Arial"><FONT size=3D3>DICK FLIK: The=20
testosterone-driven opposite of a "chick flick". Generally contains lots =
of car=20
chases, explosions, and boobs.<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=3DStyleBefore12ptAfter12pt style=3D"MARGIN: 5pt 0cm"><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-bidi-font-family: Arial"><FONT size=3D3>DRAMARAMA: A =
situation where=20
one or more individuals choose to take a relatively benign event and =
turn it=20
into a huge drama. This often involves a lot of high pitched screams or=20
expressions of outrage, the narrowing of eyes, forced tears, threats of =
various=20
kinds, phone calls, email, blogging, etc. It is not uncommon for a =
dramarama to=20
become known to a vast amount of people within a very short=20
time.<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=3DStyleBefore12ptAfter12pt style=3D"MARGIN: 5pt 0cm"><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-bidi-font-family: Arial"><FONT size=3D3>DTR: Define The =
Relationship.=20
When two people discuss their mutual understanding of a romantic =
relationship=20
(casual dating, serious boyfriend, etc).<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=3DStyleBefore12ptAfter12pt style=3D"MARGIN: 5pt 0cm"><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-bidi-font-family: Arial"><FONT size=3D3>EARGASM: 1/ noun. =
The sensation=20
one gets while hearing a dramatic climax in music. 2/ noun. The climax =
of=20
musical excitement. 3/ verb. To have an =
eargasm.<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=3DStyleBefore12ptAfter12pt style=3D"MARGIN: 5pt 0cm"><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-bidi-font-family: Arial"><FONT size=3D3>EARTH: God's =
reality TV=20
show.<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=3DStyleBefore12ptAfter12pt style=3D"MARGIN: 5pt 0cm"><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-bidi-font-family: Arial"><FONT size=3D3>eLATIONSHIP: This =
refers to a=20
couple (friends, lovers, whatever) that know each other only via online=20
correspondence (e-mail, IM chats, video rooms,=20
etc).<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=3DStyleBefore12ptAfter12pt style=3D"MARGIN: 5pt 0cm"><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-bidi-font-family: Arial"><FONT size=3D3>E-MAIL: Once an =
efficient and=20
fast method of communication and message transferring, now a way of =
harassing=20
Internet users with spam, credit card/insurance offers, porn links, and=20
"Increase Your Penis Size By 8 Inches"=20
advertisements.<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=3DStyleBefore12ptAfter12pt style=3D"MARGIN: 5pt 0cm"><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-bidi-font-family: Arial"><FONT size=3D3>EMAUL: To textually =
assault an=20
individual via e-mail.<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=3DStyleBefore12ptAfter12pt style=3D"MARGIN: 5pt 0cm"><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-bidi-font-family: Arial"><FONT size=3D3>ENGINERD: All =
engineers,=20
especially ones that hang out and look at computer dating services all =
day. A=20
person who uses scientific knowledge to solve practical=20
problems.<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=3DStyleBefore12ptAfter12pt style=3D"MARGIN: 5pt 0cm"><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-bidi-font-family: Arial"><FONT size=3D3>ENGRISH: Engrish =
can be simply=20
defined as the humorous English mistakes that appear in Japanese =
advertising and=20
product design. Often, not only in Japan, but all around the=20
world.<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=3DStyleBefore12ptAfter12pt style=3D"MARGIN: 5pt 0cm"><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-bidi-font-family: Arial"><FONT size=3D3>ENTERDRAINMENT: Any =
passive=20
form of entertainment that is so incredibly mind numbing that it sucks =
the=20
intelligence from the listener or viewer; ultimately over time reducing =
(or=20
limiting) them to a simplistic proto-human mental state, incapable of =
cognition=20
or rational thought.<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=3DStyleBefore12ptAfter12pt style=3D"MARGIN: 5pt 0cm"><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-bidi-font-family: Arial"><FONT size=3D3>ENTREPMANEURE: =
Someone who=20
makes a living selling bullshit to the =
masses.<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=3DStyleBefore12ptAfter12pt style=3D"MARGIN: 5pt 0cm"><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-bidi-font-family: Arial"><FONT size=3D3>ePENIS: A term used =
to describe=20
the technological prowess of an individual, usually in an internet =
community.=20
Factors that engorge the e-penis include bandwidth, computer speed, hard =
drive=20
size, size of DVD etc.<SPAN style=3D"mso-tab-count: 1">&nbsp;&nbsp;=20
</SPAN><o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=3DStyleBefore12ptAfter12pt style=3D"MARGIN: 5pt 0cm"><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-bidi-font-family: Arial"><FONT size=3D3>EXTRATERRESTAURANT: =
An eating=20
place where you feel you've been abducted and experimented upon. Also =
known as=20
an E-T-ry.<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=3DStyleBefore12ptAfter12pt style=3D"MARGIN: 5pt 0cm"><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-bidi-font-family: Arial"><FONT size=3D3>FRENEMY: An enemy =
disguised as=20
a friend.<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=3DStyleBefore12ptAfter12pt style=3D"MARGIN: 5pt 0cm"><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-bidi-font-family: Arial"><FONT size=3D3>GOOGLE DRIFT: To =
drift=20
aimlessly between subjects of interest, by finding them accidentally on =
a web=20
search for something else.<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=3DStyleBefore12ptAfter12pt style=3D"MARGIN: 5pt 0cm"><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-bidi-font-family: Arial"><FONT size=3D3>GUITAR FACE: The =
act of making=20
an unusual face while playing the guitar. The look typically resembles a =
look of=20
pain, intense ecstasy, or sometimes even plain old=20
gas.<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=3DStyleBefore12ptAfter12pt style=3D"MARGIN: 5pt 0cm"><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-bidi-font-family: Arial"><FONT size=3D3>HASBIAN: A former =
lesbian who=20
is now in a heterosexual relationship.<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=3DStyleBefore12ptAfter12pt style=3D"MARGIN: 5pt 0cm"><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-bidi-font-family: Arial"><FONT size=3D3>HATRIOTISM: Proving =
your=20
patriotism by hating the people the government tells you to=20
hate.<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=3DStyleBefore12ptAfter12pt style=3D"MARGIN: 5pt 0cm"><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-bidi-font-family: Arial"><FONT size=3D3>iPERBOLE: The hype =
surrounding=20
any product Apple unveils.<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=3DStyleBefore12ptAfter12pt style=3D"MARGIN: 5pt 0cm"><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-bidi-font-family: Arial"><FONT size=3D3>JACKSON: Another =
name for a US=20
Twenty Dollar Bill; US cash denomination featuring President Andrew =
Jackson -=20
equivalent to twenty Franklins or four Lincolns. "Hey... stop at that =
ATM. I=20
need a Jackson or two."<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=3DStyleBefore12ptAfter12pt style=3D"MARGIN: 5pt 0cm"><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-bidi-font-family: Arial"><FONT size=3D3>KLEPTOCRACY: A =
system of=20
government characterized by rampant corruption and misallocation of =
public=20
funds.<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=3DStyleBefore12ptAfter12pt style=3D"MARGIN: 5pt 0cm"><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-bidi-font-family: Arial"><FONT size=3D3>KNEWLYWEDS: Second =
marriage for=20
both.<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=3DStyleBefore12ptAfter12pt style=3D"MARGIN: 5pt 0cm"><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-bidi-font-family: Arial"><FONT size=3D3>LOCATIONSHIP: A =
brief romantic=20
encounter usually occuring while traveling or on vacation, occasionally=20
outwardly resembling a conventional relationship, but without any =
underlying=20
comittment. May be rekindled at future=20
opportunities.<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=3DStyleBefore12ptAfter12pt style=3D"MARGIN: 5pt 0cm"><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-bidi-font-family: Arial"><FONT size=3D3>MAIN: What a man =
calls a woman=20
that is his No.1 girl, as apposed to the other females he may=20
have.<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=3DStyleBefore12ptAfter12pt style=3D"MARGIN: 5pt 0cm"><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-bidi-font-family: Arial"><FONT size=3D3>MANTASTIC: Feeling =
fantastic=20
after the successful completion of a particularly macho=20
feat.<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=3DStyleBefore12ptAfter12pt style=3D"MARGIN: 5pt 0cm"><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-bidi-font-family: Arial"><FONT size=3D3>MEANDERTHAL: People =
who wander=20
around aimlessly and always seem to get in your way in stores and =
supermarkets,=20
chatting on their cell phones and paying no attention to their=20
surroundings.<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=3DStyleBefore12ptAfter12pt style=3D"MARGIN: 5pt 0cm"><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-bidi-font-family: Arial"><FONT size=3D3>MEXICAN STANDOFF: =
The awkward=20
scenario where one person goes to kiss another on the cheek and the =
recipient=20
moves for the mouth (or vice versa). This results in a repeated back and =
forth=20
movement where both parties keep moving to rectify their facial =
position,=20
creating a kung fu movie visual.<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=3DStyleBefore12ptAfter12pt style=3D"MARGIN: 5pt 0cm"><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-bidi-font-family: Arial"><FONT size=3D3>MILLENNIUM DOMES: =
The contents=20
of a Wonderbra, i.e. extremely impressive when viewed from the outside, =
but=20
there's&nbsp; actually nought in there worth=20
seeing.<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=3DStyleBefore12ptAfter12pt style=3D"MARGIN: 5pt 0cm"><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-bidi-font-family: Arial"><FONT size=3D3>MINDFUCK: An idea =
or concept=20
that shakes one's previously held beliefs or assumptions about the =
nature of=20
reality.<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=3DStyleBefore12ptAfter12pt style=3D"MARGIN: 5pt 0cm"><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-bidi-font-family: Arial"><FONT size=3D3>MIRTHQUAKE: an =
episode of=20
laughter that entails shaking or violent =
motion.<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=3DStyleBefore12ptAfter12pt style=3D"MARGIN: 5pt 0cm"><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-bidi-font-family: Arial"><FONT size=3D3>MYSTERY TAXI: The =
taxi that=20
arrives at your place on Saturday morning before you wake up, whisks =
away the=20
stunner you slept&nbsp;with, and leaves a 10-Pinter in your bed=20
instead.<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=3DStyleBefore12ptAfter12pt style=3D"MARGIN: 5pt 0cm"><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-bidi-font-family: Arial"><FONT size=3D3>NFI: No Fucking=20
Idea.<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=3DStyleBefore12ptAfter12pt style=3D"MARGIN: 5pt 0cm"><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-bidi-font-family: Arial"><FONT size=3D3>NIPPLEGATE: Refers =
to the=20
scandal of the 2004 Superbowl half-time show where Janet Jackson =
accidentally=20
exposed her entire right breast.<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=3DStyleBefore12ptAfter12pt style=3D"MARGIN: 5pt 0cm"><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-bidi-font-family: Arial"><FONT size=3D3>NO WUKKAS: =
Abbreviation of "no=20
wuckin' furries" which is a less vulgar derivative of "no fuckin' =
worries".=20
Australian origin, naturally.<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=3DStyleBefore12ptAfter12pt style=3D"MARGIN: 5pt 0cm"><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-bidi-font-family: Arial"><FONT size=3D3>NOIDS: Those with =
extreme=20
paranoia.<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=3DStyleBefore12ptAfter12pt style=3D"MARGIN: 5pt 0cm"><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-bidi-font-family: Arial"><FONT size=3D3>PANCAKE: 1/ To end =
a=20
relationship suddenly. 2/ To break up with an individual without prior =
warning.=20
3/ To get dumped by someone and remain clueless as to the=20
reason.<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=3DStyleBefore12ptAfter12pt style=3D"MARGIN: 5pt 0cm"><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-bidi-font-family: Arial"><FONT size=3D3>PERCUSSIVE =
MAINTENANCE: The=20
fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to =
work=20
again.<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=3DStyleBefore12ptAfter12pt style=3D"MARGIN: 5pt 0cm"><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-bidi-font-family: Arial"><FONT size=3D3>PODESTRIAN: A =
person who can be=20
spotted with the iconic white standard iPod earbuds in their=20
ears.<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=3DStyleBefore12ptAfter12pt style=3D"MARGIN: 5pt 0cm"><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-bidi-font-family: Arial"><FONT size=3D3>POPPIN' HUNDIES: =
Spending big=20
bills, such as hundred dollar bills.<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=3DStyleBefore12ptAfter12pt style=3D"MARGIN: 5pt 0cm"><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-bidi-font-family: Arial"><FONT size=3D3>PREGRET: The =
feeling of=20
regretting something you're about to do =
anyway.<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=3DStyleBefore12ptAfter12pt style=3D"MARGIN: 5pt 0cm"><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-bidi-font-family: Arial"><FONT size=3D3>PULL: Word used to =
describe the=20
successful act of attracting a person to such an extent that you would =
be able=20
to 'snog' or perhaps even 'bone' them if you so=20
desired.<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=3DStyleBefore12ptAfter12pt style=3D"MARGIN: 5pt 0cm"><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-bidi-font-family: Arial"><FONT size=3D3>PYTHONATE: That =
condition which=20
befalls an individual who being engorged by the consumption of a large, =
rich or=20
heavy meal, must recline that the meal may =
digest.<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=3DStyleBefore12ptAfter12pt style=3D"MARGIN: 5pt 0cm"><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-bidi-font-family: Arial"><FONT size=3D3>REMF: Rear Echelon =
Mother=20
Fucker. One who has no frontline or combat experience, and therefore =
makes huge=20
errors at expense of human life.<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=3DStyleBefore12ptAfter12pt style=3D"MARGIN: 5pt 0cm"><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-bidi-font-family: Arial"><FONT size=3D3>RETAIL THERAPY: The =
act of=20
shopping as an outlet for frustration and a reliever of=20
stress.<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=3DStyleBefore12ptAfter12pt style=3D"MARGIN: 5pt 0cm"><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-bidi-font-family: Arial"><FONT size=3D3>RETROSHOPPING: To =
compare=20
prices for an item after you've already purchased=20
it.<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=3DStyleBefore12ptAfter12pt style=3D"MARGIN: 5pt 0cm"><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-bidi-font-family: Arial"><FONT size=3D3>ROACHING: A dog =
that lays on=20
its back with all four legs in the air - like a dead cockroach - is =
commonly=20
described as "roaching."<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=3DStyleBefore12ptAfter12pt style=3D"MARGIN: 5pt 0cm"><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-bidi-font-family: Arial"><FONT size=3D3>SANDBOX: Middle =
Eastern nation,=20
particularly one with a vast desert such as Iraq or Saudi=20
Arabia.<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=3DStyleBefore12ptAfter12pt style=3D"MARGIN: 5pt 0cm"><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-bidi-font-family: Arial"><FONT size=3D3>SERAIL CHILLER: A =
person who=20
always parks off and relaxes. One who rarely works or shoulders =
responsibility=20
and avoids stress and anxiety.<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=3DStyleBefore12ptAfter12pt style=3D"MARGIN: 5pt 0cm"><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-bidi-font-family: Arial"><FONT size=3D3>SLAP YOUR PLASTICS: =
To insert=20
contacts in your eyes.<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=3DStyleBefore12ptAfter12pt style=3D"MARGIN: 5pt 0cm"><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-bidi-font-family: Arial"><FONT size=3D3>STRIPSY: The =
post-drunken,=20
post-tipsy state at which the removal of clothing=20
begins.<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=3DStyleBefore12ptAfter12pt style=3D"MARGIN: 5pt 0cm"><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-bidi-font-family: Arial"><FONT size=3D3>SURGE PROTECTORS: =
Those who=20
oppose an increase in troops in Iraq, like most Democrats and a few=20
Republicans.<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=3DStyleBefore12ptAfter12pt style=3D"MARGIN: 5pt 0cm"><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-bidi-font-family: Arial"><FONT size=3D3>TAG HAG: A person =
who will only=20
wear clothing that is hideously expensive and bears the 'right' tag or =
label in=20
the belief that she (it is mostly she) is a better person for doing=20
so.<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=3DStyleBefore12ptAfter12pt style=3D"MARGIN: 5pt 0cm"><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-bidi-font-family: Arial"><FONT size=3D3>TESTICULATE: To =
move one's=20
hands and arms expressively while talking =
bollox.<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=3DStyleBefore12ptAfter12pt style=3D"MARGIN: 5pt 0cm"><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-bidi-font-family: Arial"><FONT size=3D3>TEXT MASSAGE: When =
one gets a=20
text message when their phone is on vibrate. The phone vibrates and =
creates a=20
massaging feeling in ones thigh, creating pleasure to the=20
recipient.<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=3DStyleBefore12ptAfter12pt style=3D"MARGIN: 5pt 0cm"><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-bidi-font-family: Arial"><FONT size=3D3>TEXTSPECTATION: The =

anticipation one feels when waiting for a response to a text=20
message.<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=3DStyleBefore12ptAfter12pt style=3D"MARGIN: 5pt 0cm"><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-bidi-font-family: Arial"><FONT size=3D3>TEXTUAL =
INTERCOURSE: The=20
consummation of a relationship via SMS =
messages.<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=3DStyleBefore12ptAfter12pt style=3D"MARGIN: 5pt 0cm"><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-bidi-font-family: Arial"><FONT size=3D3>TOOL UP: Grab your =
pistol; get=20
your gun.<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=3DStyleBefore12ptAfter12pt style=3D"MARGIN: 5pt 0cm"><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-bidi-font-family: Arial"><FONT size=3D3>TREEWARE: Documents =
made of=20
paper, in contrast to electronic documents.<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=3DStyleBefore12ptAfter12pt style=3D"MARGIN: 5pt 0cm"><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-bidi-font-family: Arial"><FONT size=3D3>URBAN COUGAR: An =
older woman,=20
typically early thirties to mid-forties, who has abandoned traditional =
rules of=20
romantic engagement and taken as her mission the seduction of as many =
game young=20
men as she can possibly handle.<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=3DStyleBefore12ptAfter12pt style=3D"MARGIN: 5pt 0cm"><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-bidi-font-family: Arial"><FONT size=3D3>VEGI-CURIOUS: One =
who is=20
considering the vegetarian lifestyle, but has yet to make a commitment =
to=20
it.<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=3DStyleBefore12ptAfter12pt style=3D"MARGIN: 5pt 0cm"><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-bidi-font-family: Arial"><FONT size=3D3>WAFFLE CRAPPER: A =
chick so hot=20
that you wouldn't care if she walked up and crapped on your waffle. In =
fact,=20
you'd probably welcome it.<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=3DStyleBefore12ptAfter12pt style=3D"MARGIN: 5pt 0cm"><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-bidi-font-family: Arial"><FONT size=3D3>WD55: An acronym =
for Windows=20
Down 55 miles an hour. A primitive form of air condition most helpful to =
60's=20
and 70's Volkswagen Bug pilots.<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=3DStyleBefore12ptAfter12pt style=3D"MARGIN: 5pt 0cm"><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-bidi-font-family: Arial"><FONT size=3D3>WHAMBULANCE: The =
imaginary=20
rescue vehicle that will rescue you from someone's incessant whining =
over a=20
trivial matter. Used mockingly, but in good =
humor.<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=3DStyleBefore12ptAfter12pt style=3D"MARGIN: 5pt 0cm"><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-bidi-font-family: Arial"><FONT size=3D3>YOURNIVERSE: The =
entirety of=20
creation that relates to one specific, narcissistic individual. Used to =
indicate=20
that a particular person has knowledge only of him or herself - their =
universe=20
consists only of them.<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P>
<P class=3DStyleBefore12ptAfter12pt style=3D"MARGIN: 5pt 0cm"><SPAN=20
style=3D"mso-bidi-font-family: Arial"><FONT size=3D3>ZONED OUT: Similar =
to=20
daydreaming, zoning out usually involves obscure subject matter such as =
how=20
toothpicks are made or what will happen when squirrels take over the =
world.=20
Common among, but not limited to, those with attention deficit=20
disorder.<o:p></o:p></FONT></SPAN></P></FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2></FONT>&nbsp;</DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2></FONT>&nbsp;</DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2></FONT>&nbsp;</DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=3DArial size=3D2>The Jacana Humour List <IMG alt=3D"" =
hspace=3D0=20
src=3D"cid:009301c7ca1f$12adde90$5633fea9@lee28" align=3Dbaseline =
border=3D0><BR>To=20
unsubscribe (or join) contact <A=20
href=3D"mailto:jacana@botsnet.bw">jacana@botsnet.bw</A><BR>He who =
laughs,=20
lasts<BR>;-) :-) :-) :-) :-) Humour =3D Sanity =3D Survival&nbsp;(-: (-: =
(-: (-:=20
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